JaPancakes

Went to Denny's for breakfast with my wife. This month they're having a pancake buffet: YEA!
But...

...as you can see, it's only in the afternoon. That's right, on Planet Japan, pancakes are a high-calorie afternoon comestible enjoyed primarily by prim, single young "office ladies" and idle students. 

Breakfast? How about some fish, rice, or if you're feeling modern, a sandwich?

Alright, Denny's is pretty international. 
You can get eggs and "bacon" in the morning. 
French toast.
Non-French toast.
You can even get pancakes...

think you can finish all that?

Not one, but two pancakes...almost as bit as my hand! And served with an extra-large thimble of syrup (practically half-full).

Now, they're featuring something called and Eggslut...they say it's all the rage in LA. Soft-boiled egg on mashed potatoes with toast. Actually pretty good. 

Natural Stupidity

Police, EMTs, and good drivers will all tell you that there's a mysterious force of nature that can only be described as stupidity. There are some mornings that from the moment you leave your driveway/parking space you can see it's going to be "one of those days" where random stupidity is thick and heavy. Bikes weaving through traffic, pedestrians wandering out in front of cars, all bumping into each other, and drivers seemingly auditioning for YouTube. I've heard speculation that atmospheric conditions can effect behavior. I'd like to see it tracked and included in weather forecasts. If this morning was any indicator, I'd tell everyone in the Saitama/Tokyo area to be extra careful today because it was stupiding cats & dogs this morning! If it is in fact a dumb-front, it could last through the weekend, with a possibility of a flash-fool warning. Already I had a bike hit my car while I was waiting at a red light, I barely avoided hitting three more imbecycles, and the roads were like a zombie apocalypse with all the wandering pedestrians. Put your smart phones away, be alert, and expect lots of stupid because I'm already hearing more ambulances than usual.

Secret Town Hidden in Tokyo Park

Edo-Tokyo Open Air Architectural Museum:
A Secret Town Hidden in a Tokyo Park

It's hard to believe something like this is as unknown as it is!

Somewhere in the heart of Koganei park is buried a 200 year old neighborhood. What's more, hardly anyone here seems to know about it.

The Edo-Tokyo Open Air Architectural, or tatemonoen hereafter (the Japanese name), is a massive preservation model neighborhood surrounded by an even more massive recreational park in the western suburbs of Tokyo. It's further cleverly obscured by things like hedges and fields so effectively that among the numerous Tokyoites I know, barely a handful have ever even heard of it.

What is it?

In order to preserve Tokyo's cultural heritage, with particular awareness of the natural disasters that often threaten Japan's buildings, they have amassed a collection of historical homes, buildings, restorations and model structures dating all the way back to the Edo period.

One of the coolest things is that you can walk into and explore all these buildings.
The smells. The textures. The sound of old floorboards (and sod) under foot. It's a full-sensory trip back in time. We have one like this back in Dallas, but not this impressive. I first discovered it chaperoning my son's school field trip there years ago.

The buildings are exquisitely maintained and are also well furnished. Old dial phones, vintage furniture, working hand-pumps. For younger visitors it's like visiting another planet.

Old house with sod floor and working cooking pit

Seen here is an old thatched-roof house with a sod floor and a working cooking pit.
When my son's class visited, one of the volunteers, an elderly grandmother in period costume was tending the pit and telling stories to anyone who'd listen. The half of the class who understood Japanese were immediately gathered around the fire, mesmerized. But there are plenty of staff and volunteers who speak English, and other languages.

coffee house

For history buffs, every building is well-notated with bilingual plaques explaining whose home it was and why it's significant. Pictured above is one of the bigger homes with gorgeous interiors and a nice coffee shop with crepes and cakes.

Restored bathhouse

Go early and plan on making a day of it. Every time we go, we run out of time. In addition to the buildings, they have two museum halls where they hold periodic exhibitions like the current Ghibli exhibit that runs till the end of 2014. This alone is worth going for. For an additional fee you can see two sizable exhibits of Ghibli studio's architectural art and models. Ghibli, if the name doesn't ring a bell, is the studio that created Hayao Miyazaki's animated films like Spirited Away and My Neighbor Totoro. Google it. Thought the artwork, sketches, designs and animation cells are only notated in Japanese they're still stunning on their own. They show us just how much work went into these amazing films. And moreover, they have a number of large-scale models of some of the more popular Ghibli locations, like a 3 meter tall, highly detailed model of the Aburaya bathhouse from Spirited Away.

They also have late hours for one weekend in November where you can see the buildings lit up at night. We're planning on taking that in this year. 

town square

There's also a park (yes, a park in a park...in a park--Ooo, meta!) with stilts and old-time toys that most post-Nintendo kids have never seen before. Again, volunteers on hand to help.
"This is how your grandparents (or your mom and I...depending on when you were born)."
Just looking at these pictures, you can see why Hayao Miyazaki often visited here while he was working on Spirited Away.

My advice: bring a picnic/bento; walk around for a few hours (let the kids run wild), have lunch, then carry on. Running around someone else's house was as much a thrill for me as it is for my own son and his friends. 

Toddlers, teens, adults, seniors...this one's good for all ages. And it's reasonable; 400 yen for regular admission and all discounts for kids and seniors.

Warning: take public transportation if possible. While the tatemonoen itself is amazingly uncrowded, Koganei park where it resides is a very popular park and parking is very something you're not likely to find. There isn't much coin parking anywhere near, either. So bite the bullet and take the bus from either Musashi-Koganei station (chuo line) or Hana-Koganei station (Seibu Shinjuku line). 

The park is open from 9:30 to 4:30 (5:30 April to September), so get there as early as you can. Those seven hours will fly by. 

Their English site will tell you how to get there and anything else you might need to know.

They have special events listed here.
And this is a map of the park.

How something like this could be so unknown is just baffling.

English site

Calendar of Events

Map

Wikipedia notes

Japanese site

The Centipedal Human

Stephen "Boone" Johnson October 1, 2014

GothBurger

Black is back.

It's the burger that goes with everything, and just in time for Halloween! Burger King in Japan brings back the KURO burgers: Diamond and Pearl. Burgers in a squid ink sauce between buns blackened with bamboo charcoal.

I'm hearing alot of negative comments about them, that they look gross. I think they look fun, and they taste quite good. They're as good as BK's regular burgers, but with the kind of charred taste as if they'd been cooked at a beach barbecue. And the ikasumi (squid ink) ads a nice little twist.

I've had it twice so far, and I'll probably have it a few more times before it disappears. But then again, I'm the same guy who just made an effort to eat fried bamboo worms in Takadanobaba. So maybe you shouldn't be too quick to follow my taste.

Adventurefood: What's the Buzz?

My family loves to try new and unusual foods. Our must recent challenge was presented to me by a student and fellow-foodie in Tokyo, and just in time for Halloween:

BUGS

I've been wanting to try some of these edible insects that I've been reading about for ages, but they weren't showing up prominently in Tokyo. But Nong Inlay, a Myanmar restaurant in Takadanobaba (between Ikebukuro & Shinjuku) has added a special addition to their regular menu featuring three bug-dishes a frog dish.

Clockwise from top left: kaiko (silkworm), kaeru (frog), takemushi (bamboo worm), kourogi (cricket).

The proprietors are earnest, and request that you eat what you order -- don't order it, take selfies, then throw it away -- don't waste the food, whether or not you consider it to be "food." I mean, if you really don't like it, they won't force-feed you. They just expect folks to take this seriously, and rightly so. Edible insects have the potential to solve a large chunk of world hunger problems.

The frog wasn't anything new to us, and crickets and beetles seemed a bit of a gamble for a first time. So we played it "safe" and ordered a plate of fried silkworms (we felt confident we'd be able to finish them). We ordered several other conventional dishes along with that including a delicious green tea salad, sauteed furikake, garbanzo bean tofu, an some noodles in a chicken broth. We weren't sure how our son would deal with Myanmar food, but anyone can eat chicken noodle soup.

C'mon! Just get over the stigma and give it an honest try. Land bugs aren't so different from sea critters like shrimp, crab, lobster and octopus. If you saw any of those creeping around the garden, they'd probably go on your squish-it list also.

first bite

second bite

tasty and approachable noodles

How many teenagers would actively petition to go eat something this weird? The trick to raising adventurous eaters is to be adventurous yourself. I know plenty of parents who try to force unfamiliar foods on their kids, chanting, "how do you know you don't like it if you don't try it" but would never venture anything like this. Constantly pursue new culinary challenges yourself with gusto and passion, and your kids are bound to follow suit.

My wife and I'd tried a Myanmar place in Tokyo years ago, and it was so awful that we crossed if off our list until now. But because of the food we had here, Myanmar food is back on our long-list of alternative foods.

Between the three of us we finished off the dishes, and begged for more furikake to take home (it was that good). We discussed the silkworms. My wife and son found them palatable, but bland and overpowered by the oil and spices. I thought they had a nice, starchy quality; somewhere between popcorn and potatoes. I thought they'd make a much better salad topping. Either way, not good enough to eat again, at least not at 900 yen a plate, but definitely a fun family food fling. The story and pictures were worth every yen of it, and like with any challenge it had a great bonding effect. It's another weird afternoon we'll never forget. 

Nong Inlay is in a old little cluster of restaurants and coffee shops across the street from Takadanobaba station. If you're driving, you shouldn't have too much trouble finding some coin parking around there. They're open for lunch and dinner and usually half-full of friendly Myanmarese families.

The staff don't speak much English that I could hear. The menus are in Japanese but well-illustrated with photographs so you can point and choose. If you're worried about spiciness, you can point and ask "karai?" meaning, "is this spicy?" Asking, "kodomo wa" means "what would you suggest for kids?" And after you're done, there are plenty of interesting shops nearby where you can walk-off those bug-calories.

Nong Inlay
03-5273-5774

Put that phone number into your GPS or Google map and you'll get good directions.

Fish-a-Palooza 2014

Art Aquarium: a breathtaking art installation in Tokyo.

This is the first time I've ever seen goldfish as an artistic medium. Artist Hidetomo Kumura has set up some stunning arrangements of goldfish (kingyou) in beautifully aesthetic tanks with colored illuminations. After 7pm it becomes night aquarium where they turn down the lights and fire up the lasers and fog making the space look like a high-priced disco with hypnotic trance techno throbbing from the sound system. And with the greedy throngs pushing about, it can really feel like a packed nightclub; kids need to go on Dad's shoulders and the meek shall inherit poor views.

At one point, a pair of dancers performed captivating pole dances, wearing goldfish-styled kimonos.
A note: the music is quite good featuring artists like Ken Ishii, Dragon, and Neko Punch; they sold out of the CDs of it...I couldn't get one, and I'tried.

The fish themselves are award-quality specimens, and the overall arrangements and orchestrations of sight and sound make this very much a great work of art and design; not merely a fishy gimmick.

On a Tuesday afternoon, it took us a half hour to get through the line, but once in we easily spent an hour taking in the full experience. Access is not straightforward. It's in the Mitsuisumitomo Hall of the new Coredo 3 building at Mitsukoshimae station. Depending on the turnout, you'll probably start at B1 of Coredo 3, by the A6 exit of the Ginza line. Cue a bit, then receive a card which you'll take up to the top floor where you'll buy your tickets at 1,000 yen. Photography is allowed but no flashes. Good for families. Great for a date; something about this place seemed to be putting everyone in the mood. But again, there were plenty of spellbound families in addition to the amorous couples.

So have a look at some of the photos we took and decide if it's for you or not. Click on any of them to open the gallery and see them in full size. You've got until September 23. They did this last year, so they may do it again next year...I wouldn't take a chance, though. More information at:

http://www.nihonbashi-tokyo.jp/ecoedo2014/

日本橋のナイトアートアクエリアム行って来ました。今まで経験した事のないパフォーマンスとあまりの美しさに超感激。トランスをBGMにシンセサイザーと光のパフォーマンスでのアート鑑賞。見る価値ありです。

On Spectator Sports

Japan is in the grip of 2014 World Cup fever and I’m under pressure to keep up with it for the sake of professional conversation. That’s right, I’m a professional conversation coach. The average English student here knows their basic grammar well enough. They simply lack the gift of the gab, which this old Irish American has in spades and is paid to impart. But sadly I couldn’t care less about the only thing most people have on their minds this summer. Well, that’s inaccurate. While soccer’s down there toward the bottom, I certainly care less about golf. I’m happy to play most sports, even if I couldn’t be bothered to watch them. Not the “sport” of golf.

About the only sport I find even remotely interesting is ice hockey, but outside of North America I might as well be a fan of jousting.

I’m really not a sports guy to begin with, but in the interest of social versatility and professional development, I think I make a respectable effort.

I can appreciate America’s bafflingly-named sport of football. I can even watch a bit from time to time; the Super Bowl at least. Explosive bursts of sumo-esque action. Twenty-two behemoths crushing through each other. Elegant strategy. And when eleven guys are chasing one guy with a ball, the tension can really mount, waiting to see if they’ll bring him down or if he’ll escape to keep going, yard after yard. lots of surprises and unpredictable plays. The game never stops for long, the cheerleaders are easy on the eyes, and the three-plus hours fly by. Bonus points for presentation and good commercials.

As much as I like hockey, I should also like the fast-paced sport of basketball. But it’s too hard to follow. The uniforms are too similar and the view of the action isn’t clear; usually all I see are a bunch of arms and legs. There doesn’t seem to be much more strategy than helping the team’s superstar slam dunk the ball repeatedly, effortlessly. Kinetic, dynamic, physical, but hard to follow and lacking in sophistication. Maybe I should try a live game.

When I look at soccer, I see ten guys chasing a little ball around a field for ninety long minutes. Scoring isn’t any higher than in hockey, but at least hockey has plenty of breathless, heart-stopping scoring attempts. And half the blocked shots on goal don’t bring the action to a crashing halt; the goalie just pops the puck back into play without missing a beat.

The soccer field itself is huge. If the ball is on one end, it’s probably going to be there for a while. There aren’t that many surprises. And watching people run around on a field that large gives the illusion they’re moving slower. Ants may be able to run 70km/hr (if they were human-sized), but from way up where my eyes are they seem to be barely moving. In hockey the ice skates keep everyone whirling around like stick-wielding electrons around a neon atom. No one’s ever just standing around waiting or catching their breath (except the goalies, who loom like Jason Voorhees, and can spring out into play or switch out for an extra player at any minute (usually the last two, for the hail Mary of hail Mary nail-biters).

The wind-resistant soccer ball lazily floats from kick to kick around that sprawling meadow, while a puck can move from one goal to the other in seconds and a strong lead can flip in minutes.

The ice in a hockey arena is large enough that the players don’t form a visually impenetrable mob like in basketball, and not so big that action is diluted.

Soccer halves drag on for over forty-five minutes whereas in hockey they have twenty minutes before the buzzer sounds and the DJ cranks up the best rock of any sporting event.

Once you learn how to follow that little puck’s movement, the game makes for a gripping sixty minutes. Players can’t let up for a moment. It’s intense and relentless.

Neither soccer or hockey display much strategy the way football does. But at least in hockey you have clear formations and some clever, coordinated assaults. In soccer they just seem to keep passing the ball around until someone takes a shot, or someone falls down holding their shin, or the ball gets kicked out of bounds, which seems to happen alot. Hockey padding reduces injuries and adds boldness to the assaults (and blood shows up so well on ice).

Surprisingly, I’d even care more about baseball. It’s slow and pastoral, but it’s unpredictable and has an interesting rhythm. Some guy’s gonna throw a ball toward a guy with a stick. What’s going to happen? Will the guy with the stick hit it? That ball’s gonna be going really fast. And if he does hit it, where’ll it go? And will anyone catch it? And while they’re trying to catch it, what will the runners be doing? It’s a bit like a circus. If only they could quicken the overall pace a bit.

There are other sports, like tennis and yachting. But I think you’d have to have some deep, personal investment in those to start watching.

So here I am in Japan, teaching conversational English as a profession, where I have to keep up on the daily news and progress of one of the most unwatchably boring sports in order to pay the rent. Hey, gotta play to the customer’s interests, right? I just wish more people liked watching Fringe and old movies.

Nice to See it Working: Child-Raising Method

The other day in the supermarket we saw a small child getting upset about something. He was about two or three years old and there was something that he wanted more than life itself. But the mother was ready to check out and didn't want to bother with it. The child's voice raised and tensed. "Here we go," we all thought. Here comes the screaming, kicking meltdown with the mother embarrassed and either ignoring or yelling (maybe hitting) the brat. But then she surprised everyone. She knelt down and actually talked WITH her son, calmly and patiently. Respectfully. Then she got out of line to go look at whatever it was. There was another discussion (I wish I could have heard it, but it appeared civil and intelligent), and they returned to the line without whatever it was, and without any hard feelings, screaming, pulling, dragging, yelling, crying, or violence, either. She diffused a potential firestorm with a brief, respectful discussion and it appeared to be the way they usually dealt with matters.

I loved this because this is exactly how my wife and I chose to raise our son. We always tried to discuss rather than command; give either options or explanations; demonstrate rather than compel; respect and patience. It's easier and quicker to use your huge adult body to force kids to submit, or to "pull rank" on them ("...because I'm your parent and I said so, that's why!"). But in the long run you're just teaching them to do the same and the day's coming when they'll be bigger than you. Good luck "controlling" them, then.

It's takes a little more time initially, and you may feel like a chump for deigning to negotiate with a "stupid child" who "should be grateful for the life you gave them" but unfortunately it just doesn't work like that. As a school-owner of over 14 years I've seen all kinds of parent-child dynamics and their results. Draconian rule only breeds more certain rebellion (or mindless automatons). Violence breeds violence. Dishonesty breeds dishonesty. So please, take a little extra time, swallow your pride and be ready lose the occasional argument, too. You'll have a much more reasonable offspring, a better relationship; and it only cost you a few extra minutes here and there, and maybe a well-litigated Pokemon chocolate.

Pokemon Games Make Me Sad

I enjoyed Pokemon Red, back in the day as a novelty, but it was never any great fascination for me. I love games, but I have zero interest in the genre of games my son and I call "walk-around-and-talk-to-people-games," because that's what you spend most of the game doing. Where's the fun in that?

In case you're unfamiliar with this type of RPG (role-playing game) game, I'll explain. You guide your character around a little "world," talking with in-game characters, collecting information, solving puzzles, engaging in quests, and doing battle in some cases. For example, your objective may be to find your way to some castle where you can join a competition or rescue someone. But you have to learn the secret routes from characters who first must be found and then appeased. Much of the game time is spent exploring and interrogating.

This may sound like fun, but it becomes repetitive and tedious quickly (to me). Pokemon, Zelda, Chrono Trigger, Animal Crossing, Monster Hunter...massively popular games with youth and adults. Even though I don't get into these myself, I was always a little surprised that my son never did either, considering it's such a staple of his generation. But it occurred to me talking to him just now: Maybe these games are so popular now because most kids today have no freedom to "roam" the way us Gen-Xers did.

I, and prior generations used to enjoy roaming far and wide, exploring the furthest reaches of our territories; meeting strangers and unfamiliar; getting lost and in trouble; getting ourselves un-lost and out of trouble. Kids today spend their waking hours either in school, in after-school activities, tutoring, supervised sports, supervised play-dates, or just at home studying or staring at screens. 

"Good" parents keep constant vigil and tight control over their kids these days. It's no wonder kids crave this kind of virtual freedom. It's also no wonder my son never did, as we live in the deep suburbs and we've always encouraged him to roam. Sometimes he gets lost for hours. Sometimes we sweat bullets waiting for him to come home. There have been some pretty scary episodes. But he remains un-abducted and a capable explorer. 

I used to think these were a neat idea and a great new direction in gaming. Now I perceive these walk-around-and-talk-to-people games as sad substitutes, like prosthetic limbs or homeless' cardboard boxes. Glaring reminders of what kids should have but don't.

Back Pain

Progressing into my later 40's I was horrified to develop lower back pain. Bending over, standing up, and sometimes even sleeping became difficult. I spent several years at various clinics having massage and electro therapy, and medicated patches. The massages were the only thing that helped, and they didn't really help that much. I'm also a bit overweight, and I've been fighting that for the last three years since my doctor told me I was facing high blood pressure. Recently, as I finally get below 100kg I find the back pain lessening and even disappearing on more and more days. At the risk of jinxing it, I'm thinking the excess weight was causing the pain and as I get my weight closer to where it should be, not only does my BP normalize I don't have the back trouble I did last year. I talked to my therapist about it and he agreed that this is very likely the case. I asked him why he or no other therapist ever mentioned this to me. He said he didn't want to offend me. If you're having chronic back pain, your weight should be one of the first things you consider because your therapist may not be entirely straight with you.

Popcorn War in Tokyo

It's the kind of weird boutiquery you'd expect from Japan, but this time it's coming from the States.
Not one but TWO gourmet popcorn shops in Tokyo, a ten minute walk from each other at that.
One is Garret's and the other is KuKuRuZa.

Garret's is better.
KuKuRuZa is faster.
This is because Garret's has cues of Space-Mountain-proportions that can take an hour or more, and KuKuRuZa has little-to-no cues.

The pride of Chicago, Garret's menu is pretty simple. They have three basic flavors. Cheese, butter, and caramel. Beyond that, you can get variations of the caramel with cashews, almonds, macadamia nuts, or pecans. You can also get what they call their Chicago mix: cheese and caramel. It's alot better than it sounds. I'm jonesing just thinking about it. #%&@! My mouth is watering! Yes, the Chicago Mix and all their other popcorn is really that good. The popcorn itself is stunningly crispy, and stays that way for several days. I'm not sure how they do it. I've never had popcorn even close to this good, every in my life. Just take my word for it, it's actually worth the wait. And go ahead and buy several different flavors. They'll keep alot longer than you'd think. We're nuts about it, and all of our friends, family and customers say the same.

Seattle's KuKuRuZa has twice as many flavors, but it's more popcorn rolled in powders so the flavors don't, sorry, pop like Garret's do. And the popcorn is a bit rubbery and tough; the texture is not quite as good as the best movie popcorn I've had. There were also too many un-popped kernels: eat carefully. What's more, the staff were markedly unenthusiastic, by Japanese standards. But it's not commensurately cheaper--the prices between KuKuRuZa and Garret's are about the same. My family thought they liked it at the time, but haven't given it a second thought since. One good thing about KuKuRuZa is their resealable bags.

Either brand makes for a great gift/omiyage. The bags and tins are pretty and decorative.

So I'd have to recommend Garret's well above KuKuRuZa, unless you're either in a big hurry to grab a flashy gift, or you're bored with Garret's flavors and want to try some of the more exotic flavors of KuKuRuZa like Jalapeno or Cinnamon Bun.

KuKuRuZa is alongside of Omotesando Hills, near Ben & Jerry's.
http://www.kukuruza.jp/

Garret's is across the street from Harajuku station near Shibuya. It's easy enough to find. Exit the station, cross the street, turn right, and go towards the intersection. It's next to Jangara Ramen, at the base of the foot bridge. Just look for a long line of people. They also have a place in Chiba, but I haven't been there, yet.
http://www.garrettpopcorn.com/japan-locations/

Now I'm wondering if Tokyo can support two gourmet popcorneries, or if war will break out. A battle for pop-ularity? I'd love to see them having at it with popcorn guns and carpet-popcorning. Troops commanded by their...kernels? (sorry, that was too corny). But I think Garret's would win it just on enthusiasm alone. Their staff seems to know they have a great product and they serve it with real pride.

Honorable mention: Tokyo Disneyland's Curry Popcorn.

Sleeping like a River

川
That's the Japanese kanji for "river."
It's one of the first kanji Japanese kids learn, obviously, because of it's simplicity. It even looks like a river.
There's a joke in Japan that families sleep like this kanji. "Kawa no ji ni natte neru" (川の字になって寝る), or "sleep like the character for river." Conventionally, Japanese families sleep together in one room, on the floor, on futons. Sleeping side-by-side, mother and father, with the child between them, it looks like this kanji.
Isn't that neat?

I sleep this way with my son and wife and I'm really fond of it. We don't always have time to sit down and eat together like families should. But every night when we bed down we chat a bit as we drift off to sleep. In the middle of the night, I might wake up for whatever reason, and I'm never alone. It's very comforting.