Infiltrating the STEPS test.

We attended the STEPS English proficiency test this morning at Rikyu University, AKA 英検. It was the pre-2 level interview portion. This is the make-or-break stage of the test that distinguishes the supposedly best students of English.

We sent our 10 year old son in to gauge the mettle of the dreaded interview portion. You see, the rest of the test is written, with some listening parts. But in this final boss-level, the students must meet with a supposed speaker of English, answer questions and make brief conversation. But the interviewers are Japanese, non-native speakers. In most countries that wouldn't be a big deal. But here, it gave rise to suspicion; could these interviewers speak real English, or were they just a bunch of "parrots?"

Our son is a native speaker of English, and a good one at that. Good enough to be bothered by the grammatical mistakes in some of ex-president George W. Bush's speeches.

After passing the pre-2 written test the month before, we sent him in for an interview test in Niza, and after the test he gave us his report of the experience.

He said it was weird: the instructor's English was so unnatural that he had trouble following her; and once she realized his was a native speaker, she was intimidated by him and stopped making eye-contact. When she asked him the infamous rejoinder, prompting the student to elaborate on an answer, "tell me more," he felt he had already said all he could (most students, true to Japanese form, strive to give the most concise, perfect, short answer possible). The question was on the subject of bringing your own cup ("my-cup" in Japanese English) to coffee shops, so he punted (B.S.'ed) and said, "it's good for the, uh, environment..." We all cracked-up when he told us. So if the proctor herself cannot speak English with minimum proficiency, then who are they to sit in judgement?

At the start of the pre-interview written portion, Eiji raised his hand and asked, "could I borrow an eraser?" and everyone stared at him like he'd caught fire...and yes, he had to ask again, in Japanese.
When I went to get him, none of the staff could speak a word of English. I hung out in the lobby of Rikyu University, waiting for my son to finish, I tried chatting (in English) with a nearby mother. She couldn't speak a word of the language she was shoving down the throat of her kid. I tried speaking to another parent, and then all the waiting parents quickly sunk their faces into their books and papers to avoid chatting. It's the hypocrisy that gets me. If you want your kid to do something, shouldn't you do it yourself, too? Hasn't anyone heard of "lead by example?"