Japan and Families

The realization has been rumbling on the horizon for some time, getting progressively louder. But the finally hit me head-on last week; Japanese don't know their ancestors.
They worship them like gods, praying to them in shrines, adorning grave sites like alters with incense and flowers. But they don't have a clue who they're praying TO!
Every year, as a part of my English-teaching curriculum, I try to teach kids how to talk about their families in English. But they consistently have trouble talking about parents, grandparents and so on. Last weekend one of my beginning adult students, an older office worker and mother of two, was simply unable to tell me anything more about her grandparents than their names. Appalled, I pressed her until I was satisfied she was genuinely ignorant of her own family elders. No, she didn't have anything against them. Yes, she had met them many times as a child. But she couldn't even tell me their jobs or where they originated. I tasked her with talking to her aging mother.
I finished the lesson and shared this with my wife (also Japanese). She saw nothing unusual, and to my shock she couldn't tell me much more about her own grandparents. She explained that because in this culture, parents (grandparents...) held a god-like status above their children, said children never spoke to them (or about them) in such familiar terms.

Familiar terms???

I argued that it was tantamount to sociological suicide to proceed so ignorant of your lineage. She understood my viewpoint and pointed out that modern generations are less strict but maintained that even if she did ask her mother about her grandparents (which would make both of them very uncomfortable) her mother wouldn't give her a straight answer.

Wow! The Japanese maintain a family registry for every family of Japanese descent; it shows the names, titles and affiliations stretching back hundreds of years. But they can't tell you what grandpa's favorite color was.

The Right Man for the Job

Cultural Observation: The Japanese are taught from childhood to speak
clearly and concisely; to speak in a rigid, regimental pre-meditated
fashion. They are taught to never ramble, amble, digress, meander,
tangent or to, like, you know...kinda talk without any, whaddaya call
it...definite direction, or something like that...like this guy I used
to work with...what was his name?...............

As a result, when they speak English they come off sounding like
androids. No color, style or warmth. They sound like they're all
following some weird script.
Recognizing this as a primary obstacle to their mastery of
conversational English, my wife and I have decided that a heavy portion
of my lessons should be devoted to helping them break out of their rigid
style of conversational thinking and to re-learn how to speak in a more
relaxed, spontaneous fashion as mentioned above.

Can you think of a better man for the job than me?

Can you imagine people are paying me to teach them to blindly amble
around like I do? Well, they don't take it to the irritating degree we
Johnsons (& Kents) do, but in the end, everyone agrees they are coming
away sounding much more, like...y'know, more natural.

Steve